10 Ways to Revitalize Your Marriage and Rediscover Your Partner

Couple In Love

Many of us spend countless hours maintaining our homes, our cars, and our bodies. Unfortunately, too many people neglect the most important asset they have…their marriages. To boost your marriage, learn some ways to rediscover your partner and revitalize your marriage.

With nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, it is important to take a look at what is going wrong. Too often, marriages fail because the people involved have forgotten what made the relationship great in the beginning. If you want to revitalize your marriage and keep it healthy and happy, follow these simple tips every day to keep the love alive:

1. Share memories – Rough spots are normal in any marriage. How you deal with these rough times, however, can make or break your relationship. When things get rough, have a quiet dinner where you discuss nothing with your partner but happy memories you have shared. It is especially useful to talk about when you met and fell in love. Let the happy memories and feelings take the place of any negativity.  

2. Be thankful Many people make the mistake of falling into a rut. They begin taking things for granted and forget to be thankful for the little things. Every time your partner does something for you, regardless of how small, take a moment to say thank you.

3. Make your spouse happy – Try to do at least one little thing every day that is for the sole purpose of making your spouse happy. Even a kind word or sincere compliment can go a long way toward making a bad day brighter.

4. Be honest – Small lies and omissions erode trust over the years. To avoid this damage to your marriage, make sure you are honest with one another every day about everything.

5. Share leisure time – While it is vital for you and your spouse to have their own separate interests and activities, don’t get so caught up in your own lives that you neglect your life together. Make sure there is at least one leisure activity that the two of you enjoy together on a regular basis.

6. Work as a team – Independence is great, but make sure you and your spouse turn to each other for advice and guidance. Solving problems together will make you both feel more valued and will strengthen your bond.

7. Woo your spouse – Remember the things you did to show love when you were dating your spouse? Marriage is not a reason to stop those things. Instead, you should continue making romantic gestures and constantly working to win your spouse’s love.

8. Keep yourself up – It can be extremely easy to let your appearance go once you are married. This is a tragic mistake, however, since physical attraction is an important part of love. Keep yourself in shape and take pride in your appearance so your spouse will keep coming back for more.

9. Touch often – Regardless of how busy or tired you are, make time for sex and cuddling. Do not discuss your problems in the bedroom. Keep that area sacred for love and intimacy only. It is also important to make sure that you touch your partner often. Even a kiss on the cheek when you meet in the kitchen will keep that spark alive.

10. Keep perspective – No opportunity is too small to make your partner feel loved and cherished. At the same time, most problems that seem big are miniscule when compared to the value of your love. Keep your eye on what is truly important and take steps to promote the positives and to minimize the negatives.

Instead of allowing your marriage to wither and die from lack of care, make sure to feed the fire everyday by showing love, affection and by always treating your spouse like the most important person in your life. If your marriage is already suffering from neglect, it may take some time to bring it back to life. If you are just embarking on a new marriage, begin a great new habit of incorporating these elements into your marriage from day 1. You will find that when you actively pour yourself into the relationship, your partner will gravitate toward you and the love you have will grow stronger than ever.

Get help with your marriage before you need it. More helpful guidance is available for  you when you enroll in our highly-rated Envision Love Florida Premarital Course.

Respect in Marriage Matters- 3 Ways to Show You Care

respect in marriage

If you’ve been struggling with your relationship, you aren’t alone. Many couples experience frustration and anxiety when one party doesn’t feel respected. You might know that you’re fighting without knowing the reason why you’re fighting- which can cause even more stress and anxiety. If you’re tired of losing arguments, of fighting over stupid things and of wondering whether or not your relationship is going to survive, it’s time to take action. Respect in marriage matters. Here are three meaningful ways that you can start to demonstrate respect and compassion to your partner in an effort to improve your relationship.

1. Let your partner win sometimes

Nobody wants to lose an argument, but sometimes you need to let your partner win. This demonstrates that you value and respect your partner’s point of view, but it also shows that you don’t always have to get your way. Part of being in a relationship means being willing to let the other person take the lead sometimes. If you’re ready to show your partner that you’re able to change, start by letting them have the final word.

2. Let your partner feel needed

If you’re used to handling everything on your own, your partner might not feel needed. This can be especially true with military couples after a deployment. Instead of trying to prove that you can survive without your partner, let them know how much you truly need and want them in your life. This could be anything from letting your husband take care of the baby one night, asking your wife to show you how to cook something, or asking your partner’s opinion about how to best handle a workplace problem you feel stressed about.

3. Let your partner know you value his or her opinion

Respect essentially boils down to one thing: value. When you demonstrate respect to someone, you let them know how valuable they are to you. One important way that you can show your partner your respect is to let them know how much you value their opinions. The next time that your partner offers advice on something, take it. The next time your wife suggests you wear a different tie, do it. The next time that your husband suggests you apply for a specific job, listen. Part of a successful relationship means demonstrating that the other person is important. Valuing their opinions is one of the simplest ways to show them how much you care.

Want more marriage advice before your big wedding day? Go to FLPremaritalCourse.com and enroll in our online Florida premarital preparation course. Many couples who have completed our course highly recommend it.

 

Starting a Conversation with Your Spouse

starting a conversation with spouse over breakfast

Has starting a conversation with your spouse become a challenge lately?  

Even though you generally think you have good communication with him or her, there may be times when your communication doesn’t seem to flow as easily or the occasional silence doesn’t seem as comfortable as it once was.

So what can you do to stimulate a good conversation with your spouse?

Here are some ideas to get your communication flowing again.

  1. Ask what was the best part of their day while they were away from you (for example, if they were away at work)
  2. Ask about the worse part of their day
  3. Read up on several news items of the day or some trending topic or report on social media and share some interesting information about one or more of those stories with a follow-up question such as “What do you think about that?”
  4. Research and give a few ideas for activities to do together this coming week, weekend, or month, and see what they think about those ideas. Also, ask them if they have any other ideas and which one or two would be their top picks from among the choices.
  5. Ask something about one of their family members- For example, “Have you spoken with your mom (or your brother) recently? What is she up to?” Also share some observations, opinions, or ideas related to the topics brought up about that relative and any issues they are going through.
  6. Tell your spouse you want to plan to have a nice dinner together so you want their input on either what type of food and/or which restaurant they’d like to go to, or, what type of food they’d like to have for the menu of a make-at-home dinner. Work out specifics of where, when, who’s cooking, who’s making the list, who’s shopping for the ingredients, for whatever the case may be.
  7. Bring up a minor to moderate problem for a problem-solving brainstorming session. Think of something you’d like to try to address together and ask your partner if they’d be willing to toss around some ideas and potential solutions so you can both find a resolution for that problem.
  8. Use some conversation starter, such as: “If you were going to be stuck on a deserted island, what is the one thing you would have to take that you cannot live without (besides me!), or what is the one type of food you would want to have there that you would not want to live without,” or, “If it was our 30th anniversary next year, where do you think we should go for a fabulous anniversary trip?”
  9. Or try: “I miss hearing your voice. Can you sing to me or tell me a funny story from your week or something you read online?” If you have a wise guy in your life, he might just reply: “Yeah, my funny story was when my wife asked me, the guy who can’t carry a tune, to sing to her! Isn’t that hysterical?” But hey, at least you would have jump started some talking!
  10. Tell about your latest activity or hobby you’ve done (your workout at the gym, latest book you’ve read, encounters during your online gaming or bicycle ride) and then ask about your partner to tell you more about how their recent hobby or activity.

Remember that even if the talking fizzles out quickly, every day brings more ideas and more opportunities to begin a conversation. Be mindful of trending topics in the family, in your lives, and out in the world, so you can continue to take advantage of opportunities to engage your partner in lively conversation and keep your communication strong throughout your marriage.

Want more marriage strengthening ideas? Discover them by taking our e-learning course at FLPremaritalCourse.com 

Marriage Poem: I Promise

A marriage poem can be used as inspiration for wedding vows

Are you looking for wedding vows ideas or for a marriage poem that could be suitable as a reading for your wedding ceremony? If so, here is a heartfelt poem, ‘I Promise’ by Dorothy R. Colgan, which might fit your … Continue reading