Common Marriage Problems and Their Solutions

Posted on June 25, 2014 by Kayla Hekimian Williams

bigstock-Isolated-young-casual-couple-a-42549328 Marriage is an exciting time in one’s life. The romance and the thought of an exciting future together is enough to make one giddy with joy. But what happens when responsibilities set in and the thrill begins to fade? Learn a few of the most common marriage problems and how you can overcome them before they become a serious issue.

Falling Out of Love

Many married couples often get into a normal routine where they focus on their careers, children and finances. Unfortunately, during this process, some couples end up distancing themselves. When this happens, the couples feel like they have “fallen out of love”. By taking a step back from the responsibilities of everyday life and spending some quality time together, you can reconnect with your loved one.

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, 
always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

Taking the Other For Granted

Another common problem in marriage is simply taking your spouse for granted. It is important to remember that both of you desire to be loved, valued and liked. Many of the regular things that you have come to expect from your spouse, used to be things that were done to improve both of your lifestyles or benefit you individually. Remind your spouse of the things that they do for you that you appreciate. By reflecting on these things, you will realize how much both of you do for the relationship.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of
 getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and
 appreciating what we do have.” – Frederick Keonig

Poor Communication

Poor communication is one of the most common problems for married couples. Even those that are excellent communicators in their career might still struggle! Make an effort to discuss any problems or issues as they arise. This will allow you to resolve the conflict before it takes a toll on your relationship.

“Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. 
Without it...it dies.” – Tony Gaskins

Get Prepared for Marriage!

If you want to get more facts and tips that can help you obtain a successful marriage, make sure you take our premarital course!

Wedding Checklist: One Month to Go

Posted on June 20, 2014 by Kayla Hekimian Williams

You’ve already chosen the venue and set up the vendors. You’ve bought the dress, sent out the invitations, purchased the rings, and are so close to walking down the isle. Now that you’re only a month away from saying “I Do”, you might realize that there is still a lot that needs to be done. How can you keep panic from setting in?

By establishing a checklist, you can keep track of your tasks and accomplishments. Plus, it’s the perfect tool to use when delegating. Keeping a checklist will help you keep the stress down and act as the roadmap for your big day.

One-Month Wedding Checklist:

Get in touch with guests that have yet to RSVP. You can ask your mother or maid of honor to help you contact your guests. It is very important to get the final guest count so that you can finalize wedding plans.
Confirm all vendor bookings, and ensure that they have the most updated information.
- Meet with your caterer and discuss finalized table designs. Determine which linens, napkins, chairs, glassware, cutlery, and décor you plan to use. Give the final head-count and the dietary requirements of your guests.
- Provide your florist with the number of banqueting tables there will be as well as the final number of flowers required for the bridal party.
- Make a list for the photographer of “Must Take Photos” that you expect to have by the end of the wedding.
- Provide a preferred song list to your musician. Also provide a list of songs that you would like to avoid.
- Finalize your hairstyle and make-up selections.
Send out all final payments.
Create the seating plan for the ceremony and/or reception. This should be one of the last things completed because guests will continue to RSVP or cancel at the last minute.
Place any printing orders you need completed. Examples of this are place cards, menus, etc.
Send out the rehearsal dinner invitations and double check that the venue and vendors have been confirmed.
Make sure that your honeymoon plans have been booked.
- Confirm hotel dates.
- Don’t forget to update your passport and identification so that you can travel!
- Purchase your honeymoon outfits.
- Have your mail held at the post office, and arrange care for any pets you have while you are away.
Finalize wedding outfits.
- Wear your wedding shoes around the house to break them in.
- Select the outfit(s) you plan to use for pre and post wedding events.
- Contact the bridesmaids and ushers to make sure that they have their outfits and accessories.
- Men’s suits have been purchased or rented by this point.
Send the wedding day itinerary to the maid of honor best man.
Take a premarital course.
- By taking a premarital course, you will learn many skills that will help you get best prepared for marriage. Plus you’re bound to learn new things about your soon-to-be spouse!
- By completing an approved premarital course, you will qualify for a marriage license discount.
Get your marriage license.
- Without a marriage license, you can’t get married. Remember that there is a 3-day waiting period for the marriage license that is only avoidable by taking a premarital course.
- A Florida marriage license must be used within 60 days of the effective date.

The Benefits of Marriage

Posted on June 20, 2014 by Kayla Hekimian Williams

Becoming Healthier

If you’re considering marriage, you will soon have access to a multitude of benefits. According to many studies, married men and women typically live longer than their unmarried counterparts. The likelihood of disease is also reduced. During a survey of more than 3.5 million American men and women, medical professionals identified that married couples have a 5 percent lower risk of having cardiovascular disease. In addition to this, married couples tend to be healthier mentally and physically. However, according to Christine Proulx, an assistant professor at the University of Missouri Department of Human Development and Family Studies, both positive and negative relationships impact a person’s health. This indicates that the many health benefits attributed to marriage are only present for couples that are happily married.

Practical Benefits

During times of crisis, spouses have visitation rights to hospitals and can make important medical decisions on behalf of their spouse in the event that they have suffered a severe injury or illness. In addition to this, most employers offer family sick leave, bereavement leave, and family health insurance to their employees. This provides couples with a less expensive option for health insurance. Although unfortunate, approximately 50% of marriages fail. In the event that there is dissolution of marriage, the distribution of property and award of child custody and support is determined. This uniform system of sorting out a relationship end doesn’t exist outside of marriage, and makes it an important practical benefit.

Financial Rewards

The addition of a new income plus the many tax and consumer benefits indicate that there are many financial rewards associated with marriage. Lisa Arnold and Christina Campbell, authors of “The High Price of Being Single in America” state that over the course of a lifetime, a single woman could pay an extra $1,022,096 in costs compared to a married woman with the same income. Married couples that file joint income tax returns will likely qualify for a greater refund. In addition, they can be treated as an economic unit and obtain joint health, home, and auto policies at a discounted rate. Also, if both spouses have good credit, there will be an immediate credit increase. This will further their financial rewards by allowing them to get better home and auto loans. Other financial benefits that are available in some instances include disability, social security, and pension.

Resources

Married People Less Likely to Have Cardiovascular Problems, According to Large-Scale Study by Researchers at NYU Langone. (2014, March 28). The Office of Communications & Public Affairs. http://communications.med.nyu.edu/media-relations/news/married-people-less-likely-have-cardiovascular-problems-according-large-scale-s

Edwards, V. (2013, May 29). Single v. married: Which costs more?. MSN Money. http://money.msn.com/gen-x/single-v-married-which-costs-more

Emling, S. (2013, February 14). A Happy Marriage Leads To Better Health, Study Finds.The Huffington Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/14/married-couples-healthier-than-singles-study_n_2686051.html

Waite, Linda J. Why Marriage Matters Strengthening Marriage Roundtable. Washington, DC, June 1997

Finding Time for Your Love

Posted on June 20, 2014 by Elizabeth Hekimian-Williams, LMHC

How do you find time for each other when the world is swirling all around you with other demands? Couples who are in love nowadays are likely to find it challenging to focus on each other beyond the initial falling in love craze-phase. And yet, that is one of the essential components of being able to stay in love, get married, and continue on in a love that can last a lifetime.

Who doesn’t remember staying on the phone for hours with a girlfriend or boyfriend and then finding it impossible to say goodbye to each other and actually hang up the phone? Back then, you had hours of time for each other, without question. Months or years later, some couples feel they can barely give up 10 or 15 minutes of time for a call or conversation with each other.

So how does one combat this problem? First, remember the initial importance you placed on your partner and strive to put them as “the” high priority in your daily life again. Think of one or two new routines you can develop where you are purposefully scheduling in at least 15 minutes of dedicated time to connect with your loved one every day. Ideas can include a regular coffee time together before work, an evening walk together, or some other creative idea that occurs to you. Have a brainstorming session with your love about this to come up with a suitable and equally enjoyable idea.

Second, remember that housework and chores can usually wait or get put on a to-do list for another day (so long as your roof isn’t leaking or your car is working enough to get you to work). But besides such obvious emergencies, you can usually plan on prioritizing time in favor of your fiancé or spouse before dealing with other life demands. Another idea can be to include your beloved in some of those other activities so that you are both dealing with the life demand together, when possible.

But what about work? Well, although work is important for personal, worldly, and your financial needs, recognize and accept that you can only do so much in a day. After all, you are only one human being and have certain limitations, such as a need for sleep! Also, think about it this way to see if it helps you towards your goal of spending more time with your love. It is easier to get another job, if needed, but impossible to replace your irreplaceable, unique loved one. So it’s vital to not put your relationship at risk. Freely give and make time for your partner. Work at improving the balance of time in your daily life to include work issues, other life issues, but especially time for your love.

In the end, to live with less stress, be a productive worker, and enjoy a great relationship with your love, you will need to make clearer decisions about with whom and on what you will spend your time, when, for how long, and why. Keep the “why” or goal in the forefront of your mind, such as a goal of maintaining closeness with your love or maintaining a happy marriage with your love. This can help you stay on track with your time management decisions. Balance your time purposefully and creatively between your work, home, and relationships and you’re likely to discover that time for your love also results in a life well lived.

Elizabeth Hekimian-Williams with Envision Love, LLC offers a fun and interactive online premarital preparation course that provides couples with more ideas and opportunities to bolster their relationship. Visit http://www.FLPremaritalCourse.com to get started on the path towards enjoying a long-lasting and happy marriage.