This is the Time for New Year’s Relationship Resolutions

Couple Looking forward to the New Year 2015, setting resolutionsCouples can set New Year’s relationship resolutions together

This is the time. This the end-of-the-year, beginning-of-a-New-Year time when people reflect on their past and their future. They make resolutions with new goals, ambitions and directions for a new year and for their future. Often we consider these to be personal/individual. However, we invite you to consider including New Year’s relationship resolutions too. These would be new goals, ambitions and directions for your relationship and for your marriage. Doing this can help you keep your relationship from stagnating as it keeps you both moving forward with new ideas and renewed energies directed within your relationship. Whether you are engaged and getting married soon, or been married for many years, this is a great time to sit down together and plan next year’s ideas for relationship adjustments or improvements as well as plan for new fun and exciting experiences you can share together. You can also use this time to reflect back in general on your shared past and envisioned future to improve emotional intimacy and strengthen your love bond.

Relationship tune-up plus

Essentially you can use this time of year to do a relationship check-up and tune up- it’s like giving it a boost to boot! Sometimes it may seem awkward or you may feel like “it never seems to be the right time” to discuss such topics with your partner. But, this is the time of year when it’s not only appropriate, it’s expected for you to set New Year’s resolutions. So, it’s the right time, without awkwardness, for you both to share your views and discuss ideas for your New Year together!

Need some conversation starters? Have no clue about what you can adjust or improve in your relationship? Don’t know what new fun or exciting experiences you can have together? Here are some ideas that may directly apply to you or that can inspire you to think of additional ideas for your own relationship.

New goals, adjustments, and improvements in the relationship

  • Changes with chores for one, the other, or both of you
  • Changes with physical expressions of love and/or sexual activities – type/frequency/initiation
  • Changes with time spent together and/or apart/time management
  • Changes with routines
  • Changes with child rearing
  • Changes with financial management/bills/what big ticket items/expenses to save for
  • Changes with how you treat each other and encourage each other/what, when, how
  • Changes with an addiction that affects your relationship

New fun or exciting experiences together 

  • Try a new sport together/Take newbie lessons
  • Decide on a local attraction you both like and get a yearly membership there (some places also offer extra perks like reciprocal discounted or free privileges to other similar type places for the year as well, like other museums or zoos or gardens)
  • Go to one of your “someday I want to go” places so you can cross one more thing off the list
  • Join a health club and exercise together
  • Learn to play the same or different instruments, then jam/play together for fun, or entertain your friends and family
  • Plan a day trip to explore a new-to-you town or city
  • Plan a Valentine’s day experience
  • Plan a visit to far away family members or friends you’re longing to see again
  • Plan on a monthly fun activity you want to regularly participate in (card game, bowling, biking, sailing, book club?)

Don’t feel like you have to make all sorts of changes and plans. Discussing and setting just a few New Year’s relationship resolutions together each year can be enough to strengthen and grow your relationship. Anything you both agree to and feel excited about will re-invigorate your relationship as you begin to realize more fun, more respect, and a deeper love connection with one another.

Learn more tips and skills towards realizing a successful marriage at FLPremaritalCourse.com

 

 

 

Trust in Relationships

Happy Couple, Trust in Relationships

“I’ve Got Your Back”

Trust is an essential ingredient to having a successful relationship and a fantastic marriage, but it takes time to create trust in relationships and to feel it. It also takes intention and effort to maintain it. When looking up definitions of ‘trust,’ you’ll find that it essentially means to have a firm belief in the reliability, truth, safety and strength of someone or something. Let’s look at each facet of this diamond that makes up trust, which is at the heart of each great relationship.

The ideal would be for each partner in a relationship or marriage to have the very highest level of belief and trust in their partner. In order to achieve that, each of you would need to repeatedly and consistently exhibit behaviors that would show the other that you have these admirable attributes…

• Reliability: consistency and dependability

• Truth: honesty

• Safety: protective and causing no harm or danger

• Strength: the power to resist strain and stress, potency, toughness

The main point of view of holding a firm belief that you trust your partner is that you can count on them, that they have your back, that they are looking out for you, and that they are supportive and there for you even when you express bad feelings or encounter negative events in your lives. In the traditional wedding vows this is expressed as “in good times and in bad.” Betrayals and disloyalty erode trust, especially if the couple does not fully discuss and work through those negative occurrences to re-establish enough trust again.

To improve feelings of trust in your relationship, it can be helpful to identify examples of behaviors representative of each attribute identified above and then work to improve those as they contribute to increasing trust with your partner.

For instance, here are some examples of behaviors in relationships that could demonstrate their related attributes, but you may well think of others to strive for that are more meaningful for you.

• Reliability: on time to meet you, calls or texts as agreed upon, regularly does a chore or task as expected or requested (you can count on them)

• Truth: honest about past experiences, present day issues/feelings/experiences, future needs/dreams, someone you can talk to and expect sincere reactions from (there for you, not deceptive or betraying, supportive with your negative feelings)

• Safety- someone you can safely talk to without feeling ashamed, demeaned, dismissed, avoided or rejected by, someone who values your safety and well-being, someone who does not verbally or physically abuse you (“I’ve got your back”)

• Strength- someone with the smarts and stamina to be tough in the face of life’s adversities and that can be a partner to help you both pull through any rough times, a tough go-getter that will pull their weight in the marriage to help you both get ahead and be happy together (looking out for you/looking out for us)

You may notice that these attributes are often held by our best friends as well. A good friend is usually seen as someone you can count on, feel safe talking to, and who you expect to be in your corner, as you would be for them. Is it any wonder that great marriages often start with a strong foundation of true friendship as well?


To gain more relationship skills for a great marriage, go to http://FLPremaritalCourse.com

Implementing LOVE in your Life Together

Love in your life If you’re here, it’s safe to assume that you’re happily in love and are seeking ways to strengthen your relationship further. But what is love?

Everyone has their own definition for love, whether it’s a feeling, a gesture or something more. Rather than define it, we’ve decided to use the word as a guiding method for implementing LOVE in your life and for relationship success!

Listen
Overlook
Value
Encourage

Listening to your partner is key. If there isn’t proper communication in a relationship, problems can build up until they are beyond repair. By listening to each other, you will both be able to understand the needs of the other and work to ensure both of you are happy and comfortable in your relationship. Couples that have good communication are less likely to seek a divorce.

Overlooking our partner’s flaws is also a very important relationship skill. If you think about it hard enough, you can always find some flaws that your partner has. But, nobody is perfect! Don’t focus on the negatives, rather, appreciate all of the positive aspects that your partner brings to the table. Couples that are happier tend to be more positive, so do your best to hone in on the good aspects. And, if it’s something that truly bothers you, make sure you communicate it with your partner. After all, if you don’t tell them, how can you expect them to know that it bothers you?

Valuing your partner goes hand in hand with overlooking their flaws. Showing how much you appreciate them is important, after all, we all like to know that our company is desired and enjoyed. Relationships with couples that feel needed, loved and valued tend to be longer lasting.

Encouraging your partner’s interests goes a long way in maintaining a happy and healthy relationship. After all, everyone has different interests. Even if you’re not interested in all of the same things as your partner, being supportive of their activities or interests demonstrates that you care about the passions of your partner.

By keeping these things in mind, we hope we’ve given you another definition for the word, “love”! Discover more tips for marriage and relationship success by taking our fun, online Florida premarital course.

 

Tips for Getting a Florida Marriage License 3 Day Waiting Period Waiver and Discount

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Did you know that Florida offers several perks to couples who take a Florida premarital course as part of their pre-wedding preparations?

They do! We’ll tell you about them here and also provide you with several tips to help you avoid problems with getting those perks when you’re applying for your Florida marriage license.

Before getting married in Florida, you will need to apply for and get a marriage license in any Florida county. The license is only valid for 60 days, so make sure you obtain it and marry within that time frame. You don’t have to get married in the county where you obtain the marriage license though, because the marriage license can be used in any Florida county. After the wedding, your wedding Officiant just needs to submit your completed and signed marriage license back to the county where you obtained it.

Florida resident couples who plan to marry in Florida qualify for a discount on their marriage license fees of $32.50 if they show proof of having taken an approved premarital preparation course. As an added bonus, the state will also allow them to waive the usual Florida marriage license 3 day waiting period.

However, a few couples may experience challenges with getting these perks when they go to the County Marriage License offices or when talking with the clerks if they are not properly prepared. To help you avoid any difficulties, follow these suggestions.

1. Complete your Florida premarital course within one year of the date you apply for your marriage license.

2. Verify that the Florida premarital course provider is registered/approved (listed as a provider) in the county where you will apply for your marriage license (“your county”). There are only certain types of providers that are authorized to provide premarital counseling services or premarital preparation courses by Florida Statute. However, it is not enough to use the services of one of those licensed professionals or clergy. The provider, their program, or their Church organization also must be registered/approved in your county.


  • Check with the provider’s website, send them an email, or call them to ask if they are a provider for your county.

  • As a further check, contact the county directly. Go to their online listing of providers if they have one, or call their marriage license   department to make sure they can find the provider on their list. Please note that the provider may be listed in some counties under one or another of the following possibilities for the name: provider’s name, instructor’s name, company’s name or church name. Because of this, and sometimes due to errors with spelling a name, it can sometimes be tricky for some clerks to locate any particular provider’s name. If you are prepared ahead of time and know what name to use or what page number on an online list your provider is found on, then things are likely to go smoothly at the marriage license office.

  • In a rare scenario of a clerk still being unable to locate your provider’s information, note the clerk’s name for future reference, and we suggest you speak with a supervisor, and/or call your premarital course provider to ask for their assistance. They can often help to resolve the issue.

3. Take printed copies of your Certificates of Completion from taking an online Florida premarital course, or take original Certificates for each of you to the marriage license office. Most Florida counties will take a printout/copy of the certificates. Just a few counties in Florida state that they require original certificates. Be sure to find out if you are getting a marriage license from a county that requires an original Certificate so that you can arrange to get an original Certificate, if needed. (Although we’ve heard of a few couples who have presented a printed out copy of their digital certificates and obtained their marriage license without incident even though they were told they needed to present an original certificate- to be on the safe side- we suggest that if they say they want an original certificate, take an original certificate).

4. If you are short on time, consider this other idea. You can apply for a marriage license from a neighboring county that accepts a printed out/copy of the Certificate of Completion instead of a county that requires an original certificate. Your provider or the county directly should be able to tell you which type of Certificate of Completion they require.

Envision Love, LLC (also known as FLPremaritalCourse.com) is listed as a provider in most counties of Florida. We are found on county provider lists using either our instructor name Elizabeth Hekimian-Williams or using our company name Envision Love, LLC. Go to http://FLPremaritalCourse.com to find out more and to enroll in our Florida premarital course. You will not only get the perks of learning how to have a successful marriage, but also get the perks that the state of Florida offers you!

 

Traits of Happy Couples

couple painting together

 

Happy couples keep finding ways to improve their relationship

No matter how old you are or how long you’ve been together, there is always something you can do to improve your relationship. Couples in a relationship naturally want to experience nothing but bliss together. Learn the traits of happy couples, and start improving your relationship today!

1. Cultivating Common Interests

After the initial phase of excitement and passion, couples often realize that they don’t share as many interests as they originally thought. This can be a sad realization. However, happy couples accept the things they cannot change and work to develop more common interests together. By doing this, couples are able to find more activities to enjoy together that can spice up their life! It’s also important to develop your personal interests. This will allow you both to enjoy your own interests, without depending only on your partner to have fun.

2. Walking Together

Another characteristic of happy couples is walking hand-in-hand or side-by-side. By walking together, as a pair, couples tend to feel closer. Plus, it shows that there is equality in the relationship rather than one individual with dominant leadership roles. Couples that walk together realize the importance of their partner and place them ahead of their desire to get someplace or see sights more quickly.

3. View Your Partner In a Positive Light

Nobody is perfect — we all have our flaws. However, happy couples maintain a positive view of their partner. If you ever look for something your partner does wrong, you’re sure to find something. But, the same goes for the reverse. Couples that maintain their positive perspective pay more attention to the things their partner does right rather than wrong. These couples are much more likely to enjoy a long-lasting and successful relationship.

4. Saying Key Phrases

In relationships, you need to always show your significant other how much you care. Regardless of whether you had a terrible day, feel sick, or just had an argument, it is important to demonstrate that you want to be in the relationship. By always saying “I love you”, “Have a good day”, and “Good night”, you show your partner that they are genuinely important to you.

Learn more about fostering a successful relationship and prepare it for the next step (marriage!) by taking our premarital course.

Might You Want a Postnuptial Agreement?

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What is a postnuptial agreement anyway?

It’s not as common to hear about these as it is to hear about prenuptial agreements. A postnuptial agreement is largely like a prenuptial agreement, but it is agreed to and signed by each member of the couple after the couple is already married. Keep in mind too, though, that courts may continue to favor prenuptial agreements over postnuptial agreements (search ‘postnuptial agreement’ on http://www.americanbar.org to read more about this difference).

Traditionally, prenuptial agreements conjure up images of disputes before the marriage as couples argue about financial issues and try to decipher whether their partner loves them for themselves or just for their money (in the case of a large disparity in income or assets between individuals). But prenuptial agreements as well as postnuptial agreements can be helpful and increase intimacy and trust as couples communicate about important issues to arrive at decisions that will cover financial and property matters in case of either one’s death or divorce. These agreements, if done properly with the assistance of lawyers, essentially make matters easier and clearer if those situations should arise. Having such an agreement can help alleviate the unknown in court and adjust some of the decisions a judge might otherwise have to make to be more in line with what a couple has pre-specified.

Did you know that one issue that can be addressed in postnuptial agreements can be matters about ownership and/or custody arrangements about your beloved pet dog or cat in case of a separation or divorce? It may surprise you to find out that in most U.S. states, including Florida, pets are still legally treated as property to be equitably divided during dissolution (divorce) proceedings. And what you consider equitable is not necessarily what a court would consider as equitable under laws they would need to follow. So instead of your pet being considered a valued family member with potential arrangements made for shared custody or visitations, most courts will determine your pet to be similar to a toaster or a car with a decision imposed as to which person will get this property (pet) and that’s that from then on.

Overcoming the Stigma Associated with Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements

Having a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can help you and your partner reach decisions about many things, including property division, alimony, bills, and even your family’s pet. Although you make many discoveries about each other and make decisions about all sorts of issues both before and after your marriage, sometimes couples avoid discussing certain uncomfortable topics. Postnuptial agreements can help couples reach agreements on touchy subjects and can be used after months or years, as your situation changes- for instance, you can include decisions about pets that came into your lives prior to your marriage as well as pets that joined your family after your marriage.

Keep in mind that making such formal agreements can be seen as another responsible thing that you do as part of becoming a responsible married couple. After all, you buy life insurance even though you don’t plan on dying young or leaving your spouse before you’re both old and grey. So even though you don’t plan on divorcing your spouse either, think of a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement as a useful tool that can help you both in case things do not go as you both currently envision for your future rather than as an assault on your love and commitment. You can decide things before animosity and strong emotions cloud your judgment. Remember too that most contracts like a car lease or a home mortgage have clauses that specify what happens if something goes wrong, even though you don’t plan on defaulting on loans or having a need to break a lease when you sign those documents.

Similarly, drawing up a suitable prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can be a prudent thing to do. And, you’ll both like knowing that you are determining and agreeing together as to what is equitable for your lives, rather than leaving it entirely in the hands of the courts.

If you still decide you don’t want to put your wishes down in a legally drawn up document, at least take the opportunity to have pointed discussions with your partner about financial, debt, child, pet and property issues.  Communicating about such important issues that are not necessarily part of your daily dialogue can go a long way towards strengthening your bond and creating a mutual resolve towards a shared vision for your marriage.

For advice about current laws and legal questions about prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, consult an attorney in Florida for assistance. Enroll at http://FLPremaritalCourse.com for additional premarital preparation. Most counties in Florida accept our Certificate of Completion that qualifies Florida residents for a discount on their Florida marriage license and a waiver of the 3 day marriage waiting period.

Getting Married Soon? Get Some Creative Advice From Guests

Love messages from friends and family

The guest book. An elegant wedding tradition.

Planning a wedding is such a monumental task. Although it takes place in a short time frame, a wedding is such an important life event. Since it represents the union of two individuals, it’s heartwarming to see everyone who attends. It’s nice to be able to look back and remember all of the guests that came to support you as you transitioned from single to married people. During the wedding planning stages, couples typically incorporate some sort of guest book to help them remember those who came to support them as they made their vows.

Add a spin to the tradition.

In many cases, wedding guests have ideas that can go a long way towards helping you get your marriage started on the right foot. But it can be difficult to meet and talk with every single guest, and advice that you receive verbally can be easily forgotten (especially when your guest list is long!). We encourage you to remember the people who attend your wedding and value what advice they can offer, especially those that come from married couples. Here are a few fun and creative ways you can engage your guests and have a great wedding momento.

1. Polaroid Scrapbook 

Have a polaroid camera on a welcome table and have your guests take a photo. Once their photo is ready, they can write their name on the bottom and put it into a photo album. Beside their photo, they could write advice and good wishes for the newlyweds. This is a great way to gather photos of everyone that attended the wedding and get some advice from all of your guests!

2. Photo Puzzle

Another fun and unique idea is having a photo puzzle with a photo the couple has chosen. As guests arrive, they can pick a puzzle piece and write on the blank side. At the end of the event, the newelyweds will have a puzzle they can put together, glue and frame. As the newelyweds put their puzzle together, they’ll read all of the advice and wishes that their guests have given them.

3. Jenga Game

One of the most creative ideas that we’ve encountered is taking a game, such as Jenga, and having your guests write advice and wishes to the couple on a piece. Throughout the years as the couple plays the game, they will receive the advice and remember their wedding. What a fun way to get some advice and recall the day your lives were united.

Planning your wedding is an exciting time, but don’t forget to plan your marriage for success too! If you’re getting married soon, take our Florida Premarital Course to skip the 3-day marriage license waiting period and get valuable insight and knowledge to help you achieve the marriage of a lifetime.

Engaged Begin to Plan Couples Thanksgiving Traditions

Bringing turkey to the table at thanksgiving

Two Families, One Thanksgiving

Now that you’re both becoming part of two families soon, you will want to discuss your couples thanksgiving traditions. Where and with who you will be spending this holiday tops the list of talking points.

So, where will you spend Thanksgiving?

Since each of you are probably used to spending the Thanksgiving holiday with your own family it can be a challenging conversation trying to figure this out.

Here are some alternatives to consider as you and your partner work out your Thanksgiving plans. Use the below possibilities as a springboard to your discussion. You may come up with a different plan that will work for you. Be prepared to brainstorm and negotiate as you narrow down to the best idea for your Thanksgiving holiday this year.

Possibilities:

1. Spend it with one family and call the other one’s family.

2. Split the time and spend some of the day with one family and the rest of the day with the other’s family.

3. Arrange to invite both families (if nearby) to enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday altogether at one of the parent’s houses.

4. Invite both families to all eat out together at a Thanksgiving buffet dinner (neutral territory).

5. Celebrate a just-the-two-of-us Thanksgiving. Then either call or video chat with each other’s families.

6. Celebrate with friends only. Either call or video chat with your families.

7. Make the Thanksgiving holiday do double duty and have it also become a party related to the wedding, such as an Engagement Party or Bridal Shower where you can also invite close friends as well.

8. Agree to take turns going to each other’s families every other year.

9. Take turns going to each other’s families but agree to some uneven schedule you both agree to, such as three years here, then one year there.

10. Just make a decision for this year. Agree to table discussion about future years until those years arise. Decide on any criteria (such as financial if travel costs are involved) you both think would be important to include to help you achieve a mutually satisfying decision in the coming years.

11. Celebrate Thanksgiving always with one family but celebrate a different important annual holiday with the other family.

12. Celebrate Thanksgiving on two different dates during Thanksgiving week, for example on Thanksgiving day and on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Arrange to spend time with each family on the different dates.

 

Whatever you decide, the most important thing is to listen carefully to each other’s feelings and ideas and then to arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that you’re both happy enough with. Agreement on any other Thanksgiving-related issues will just be gravy on top.


We would like to thank our customers this Thanksgiving holiday season. Thank you for taking our Florida Premarital Course and for including strengthening your relationship for marriage as part of your wedding planning. We wish you and your families a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Avoid the Florida Marriage License Crisis

Wedding couple quarreling conflict bad relationshipsFlorida offers couples an array of wonderful options for a perfect wedding. But, while you’re busy with the wedding planning business, have you also taken care of all of the logistics?

Getting your marriage license may not sound like a big deal, but without it, you can’t get married! One of the most common problems that couples face before the wedding is forgetting to purchase their marriage license in advance. Florida has a mandatory 3 day waiting period before your marriage license is valid. This means that if you want to get married on a Friday, you would have needed to purchase your marriage license by at least Tuesday.

“Oh, no! We don’t have that sort of time!”

Don’t worry. Although Florida has a waiting period, there’s a fast and easy solution! The State of Florida believes in the importance of successful marriages, and offers couples the opportunity to skip the waiting period AND receive a discount off your marriage license when you spend at least 4 hours taking an approved premarital course.

“A premarital course? But, we don’t have any problems we need to talk about.”

It’s always good to feel comfortable and confident in your relationship, especially when you’re about to tie the knot! However, premarital counseling is designed to help you understand what you can expect after marriage and get both individuals most prepared to succeed. Whether you have topics you feel you still need to discuss or not, anyone could benefit from taking a premarital course. As an added bonus, it’s a fun activity for you to do as a couple and it’ll give you at least 4 hours away from wedding planning.

“What if I’m a Florida resident and my significant other is an out-of-state resident?”

As long as one individual is a Florida resident, you will be able to skip the 3 day waiting period and receive a marriage license discount of $32.50 by completing a premarital course.

“Do we both have to be there to purchase the marriage license?”

Yes! If you want to purchase a Florida marriage license, you both need to be present. In addition to this, you must have a valid ID and proof of age and residency. To get the discount and to skip the marriage license waiting period, you must show a certificate of completion at the time of purchase, as well. Purchasing a marriage license is a critical component for your wedding, so make sure to schedule a day where both you and your significant other can make the trip to the county clerk.

“We’re getting married in a different county… can we do that with our Florida marriage license?”

Absolutely! Marriage licenses are valid for 60 days from the effective date and can be used in any Florida county. The only stipulation is that within 10 days from the date the marriage is performed, the marriage license must be returned to the same Clerk’s office where the license was purchased.

“We’re coming to Florida for a destination wedding. What are the most important points for us to know?”

Non-residents have no waiting period and can get married immediately after they receive their marriage license. Unfortunately, non-residents are not able to receive a discount on their marriage license by taking a premarital course. However, doing so is still highly beneficial for any couple.

Whether you’re planning in advance or in a time crunch, we’re here to help. Sign up for our Florida Premarital Course and you’ll be set!

Love quote: One day, in your search for happiness…

Florida premarital course love quote

Love Quote

“One day, in your search for happiness, you discover a partner by your side, and you realize that your happiness has come to help you search.” ~ Robert Brault

This is a sweet love quote from Robert Brault. It’s a clever play on words calling your loved one “your happiness” and with it also meaning that person is your happiness. Then they also get on board on a voyage with you to jointly continue seeking happiness together. Onward life voyagers!

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You can start an online voyage of new discoveries to enhance your marriage by taking our online premarital course together at FLPremaritalCourse.com – only you and “your happiness” can find out the interesting places you may go!